Finding Balance: Setting boundaries for your wellbeing
- Zoe
- Sep 26, 2023
- 2 min read
Let's start with social life:
Throughout the past year, I have noticed that I have to be careful about what I commit to and when to say no. It started when I was feeling very overwhelmed while socializing with friends and even family. When I went out for a meal, I would often feel overwhelmed by the environment. This could have been due to the noise of people talking, alongside music playing in the background, and the aroma of the food. (I have a very strong sense of smell, so no burning candles near me!) This made it incredibly hard for me to string a sentence together to have a conversation. You could also say yes but go to an environment that is calm, such as going for a walk or a quiet coffee shop so you are ensuring that you are maintaining that friendship but also you are not being overly simulated.
Over time, I learned that I had to sometimes say no to prevent burnout, even when it came to activities I enjoyed. On the other hand, there will always be a need to balance saying yes to things we may not enjoy but still have to do. I believe it's okay to be honest with people when we may be busy for some time, but it's equally important to ensure that they know they are valued as a friend. I hope this encourages you to prioritise the things you need in life.
Now let's talk about healthy boundaries in the church:
Family Time: I grew up as a pastor's kid, and I know all too well about the expectations. It can be hard to set healthy boundaries when people rely on you as a pastoral figure, but it's equally important to maintain your mental health. Establishing good boundaries helps honor your family time. When my dad was a pastor of a church, I remember one core memory was making sure he was home for one of my birthday's when he had a tricky pastoral situation but was able to say sorry and had to leave as the appointment overran. I understand that this may not always be possible, but prioritising family events is truly important.
Serving in Church: I remember that I had to step away from serving in the church for a time due to struggling with my physical health and well-being. It can be tough to say no, but sometimes you need to attend church for yourself, to enjoy the environment, and have that alone time to refocus on God and where He wants you to be. It's also essential to say yes without overcommitting. To be honest, I avoid serving in the evenings because I know it will leave me feeling exhausted the next day, which could negatively impact my health. Knowing this boundary of mine, I choose to serve on Sunday mornings when I am at my best, ensuring that I won't feel unwell afterward.
Remember you can only do what you can do and that is enough!
I would appreciate it if you could fill out this survey regarding how you manage your boundaries. There are only three short questions to fill in.
